It is once again St. Nicholas Eve, also known as Krampusnacht. Over the last couple of years, I have made it a point to put up something Krampus related. As such, I decided to make a new Krampus poem. Here is a slight perversion of an all time favorite titled:
“A Visit From Krampus”
T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The children were snuggled warmly in beds
While visions of gingerbread danced in their heads.
Mama worked late, so I was alone
The night was silent, the bed cold as bone.
I shivered in flannel, hoping to sleep
Unaware that outside, something did creep.
With my eyes closed and breath low, I tried to calm my brain
But then my serenity was broken by the rattling of a chain.
I flew from the bed, and straight to the window
My eyes carefully scanned the snowy streets below.
Black as ash was he that walked the street,
With lolling red tongue, goat horns, and cloven feet.
He dragged behind him a great birch stick
And I knew for certain that this was not St. Nick.
He walked up the stoop, his bells all a-clatter
My children awoke, wondering what was the matter.
I raced down the stairs, I tried to bolt the door
But he simply kicked it in, and threw me to the floor.
His eyes were crazed, they darted left and right,
When they fell upon me, I almost died of fright.
He stank of farm animals and rotting flesh
He looked around the house for a naughty child’s bottom to thresh.
Past me he walked with a shambling gait,
And I knew the appetite he wished to sate.
I knew I had been good, so I pointed my finger
“The children are upstairs!” and he did not linger.
You cannot imagine the stir that arose,
As each child upstairs received their well-deserved blows.
The screaming went on for a minute or two,
Then subsided to a murmuring “Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.”
Then down the stairs walked the ashen stranger,
And I was just glad to be free of danger.
“I’ll see you next year,” he said with a hiss,
“Oh yes, and by the way: merry Christmas.”
I was uncertain of the ending, but rather than wake-up my wife and ask her what she thought, I figured I’d just go with it.
This year, I managed to send out Krampus cards. I made only six, and each featured a verse from one of my earlier Krampus-based poems. Here’s a peek at what this year’s Krampus looked like:
Have a happy holiday, and do try and be good 🙂