Complaining Rant. Feel Free to Look Away

I feel like complaining.

I’m not sure why I’m in this rotten mood, but I am. I feel very stagnant; I’ve finished my novelette and have started the process of editing, and editing is never something that I enjoy. There is the constant indecision, wondering if I did the right thing on the first go-around or if I should bulk things up/slim things down. I’ve solicited several opinions, which have all, thus far, been positive. That said, I really want to finish this writing project before moving on to a new one, and I’m finding the process, mixed with how I feel right now, is turning me into one grumpy cat.

My day job has been ridiculously busy, which is usually good, but since I’m running around like a maniac all night, I tend to want to just veg when I get home. I had started meditating again, and that helped offset my exhaustion, but I got lax and stopped. I need to pick it up and stop watching movies when I can be finding peace of mind.

I watched Silent Hill: Revelation this morning and it was terrible. I hadn’t expected them to make a sequel to the first Silent Hill movie, but they did and it was fecund from start to finish. They went far too corny with the special effects, and the many 3-D moments just come off as cheap-looking.

There are a dozen other things rattling around in my brain that are far too negative for a person that should be happy – nothing terrible is happening (knock on wood) and I should be glad. Instead, I’m letting myself talk myself down and focusing on all the wrong things.

I suppose it is best summed-up as BLAHHHHH!!

Well, today is a good as day as any to get back on the right track, yeah?

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About harrylthompsonjr

I'm a writer, a photographer, and a lover of role playing games. I've moved my blog to wordpress in hopes of actually getting some feedback. We'll see :)
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4 Responses to Complaining Rant. Feel Free to Look Away

  1. barbiegirlie2 says:

    😦 I m sorry that you feel this way.

    Do not over think what you have already written at this point. Make the secretarial/editorial edits, then stop. Walk away from it. Distance yourself from it. Work on something else. Then, after a bit, come back to it fresh and renewed. You will then see more clearly what should be revised.

    • The trouble is, when I leave something, I seldom come back.

      That said, I think that adding or taking anything away is off of my mind. I’m pretty happy with it now, and am just waiting for one copy I sent out to come back before I start to explore the next stage. Until then, I’ll content myself with planning Little Fears and prepping my next writing project. Also, I have March MODOK Madness to think of…

      I had another ridiculous week at work this week, but things should start getting a little more manageable next week. I’ll be decompressing this weekend by playing HeroClix with Matt; I’ve even talked him into making an ersatz MODOK for me to put on one of my teams. Oh yes: HeroClix – it is a comic book version of that Star Wars Miniatures game we were talking about.

      I’m in a better mood today, but I still feel on edge.

      -H

      • ~m says:

        Aw, I’m sorry Harry =/
        btw, if you walk away from a project, you say you tend not to come back.
        Why is that for you? Because you forget about them, or because you’re excited about a new project and feel like you’ve lost the thread of the old one, or is it a creative block, or something else?

      • ~m,

        Most of my work stems from obsession with a particular concept, and often when I complete the first iteration of a project, it results in me moving on to another obsession. I seldom return to an obsession I’ve previously had quickly – I tend to find something else to inspect and analyze in the course of experiencing my new obsession and it continues like that.

        Also, when I first complete a project, I’m rewarded with the sense of having something complete, even if it could use refining. Re-evaluating a story I have written just doesn’t have the same degree of satisfaction. I’ve always been somewhat of a messy artist, so polishing and buffing, and polishing again isn’t my strong suit.

        I’m trying to change that with my current project, “Like Rabbits,” but I’m finding it difficult. I already have other ideas piling up, and I feel like if I move on, I won’t come back. My writing has been improving with each story I’ve been working on, so there’s a part of me that thinks that I will feel the need to rewrite the whole thing from the ground up all over again because my skill level has changed, and there should be a consistency.

        That’s why “They Eat Eyes” and “Samantha and the Wind” are just sitting inactive instead of being bandied about.

        Then there’s the whole “When I let this work go out into the world, I’ll be judged as terrible and unimaginative” aspect of my insecurities that I need to deal with when finally deciding that something is done.

        That’s it in a nut shell.

        -H

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