Today, Sarah was taking a picture of Cole’s toes for her Photo-a-Day for November and I decided to horn in and take a portrait of my little buddy.
I’ve been continuing work on my novelette, so little new work has been appearing on here. It has been dredging up quite a few bodies out of the bed of my emotional river. As such, I think I have been extra pensive lately. In the story, I explore how horrible I can be and how good I could be – some of the themes are about birth/rebirth and how difficult it can be to change who you are into who you want to be. Sometimes, I with that self realization was as easy as popping on a mask.
Reinventing yourself is hard work. As they say, no matter where you go, there you are. I suppose much of it has to do with accepting your past and reconciling it with your present, then realizing that the future isn’t one-hundred percent written in stone.
My reinvention of self is the creation of someone who creates, shares, and ACTUALLY FINISHES PROJECTS and tries to share them on a larger scale. I would also like to follow some of the crazy notions I have. I frequently have ideas that I think would be good for my community, but I often let myself get in the way. I also have ideas that would be good for myself, but again, I get in my own way.
Things I have been thinking about:
Bullies: I find that there are more bullies in my life than I had previously realized. I try to make sure I don’t become one of these people. There are people in my life that enjoy teasing folks, but sometimes, folks ask for the teasing to stop, and it just keeps going. This kind of crap needs to get cut out of my life.
Odin: As a self-proclaimed Spiritualist who is kinda Pagan (but like to keep it to myself), I consider a lot of mythology, especially that of the Norse variety. While I tend to focus on Thor quite a bit, as of late, Odin has been on my mind. I think it is because I’m hitting an important part of my life. I’m at a point where I have to finally make a decision about what I’m going to do with my life.
If I’m going to be a writer, I need to get my work read and I need to get paid for it. If not, I need to move-up in my day job. Splitting myself between these two things is tiresome, and even moreso because I try to fit a goodly amount of more trivial stuff (playing games, watching movies, etc…) into my days. Long and short, something’s gotta give. Life’s not getting cheaper to live, and living with being under-employed isn’t getting any easier.
Odin hung himself from the world tree so that he could gain knowledge. He did what needed to be done in order to achieve his goals, even though it was painful (what with dying and all). To me, with where I am in life, I think this myth is illustrating that I need to put the work into my dreams in order to achieve them.
What else is on my mind? Tons, but I really should be going to bed sooner than later. Time waits for no man, and I need to get some sleep before a fairly busy day tomorrow which is to involve some housework and Thanksgiving shopping.