So, here is the color version of my drawing from yesterday. I’m fairly happy with how it came out, though I’m slowly thinking it is time to get even more painterly an do away with the lines altogether. I SHOULD just paint using actual painting tools rather than Photoshop. Someday I’ll get around to it.
So yes, I miss my dearly departed felines. If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I lost Izzy in the apartment fire and Dante was put asleep a couple months afterwards after being diagnosed with a handful of very serious ailments, the least of which was a cancerous mass that was pushing on his stomach.
There isn’t a day that I don’t think about my two sweet kitties. I made up all sorts of stories about them, and Izzy was a constant companion. I miss her more than I can really say. Not a day goes by that I think “I should have tried harder to find them.”
However, it is easy to say that now that I’m safe and not in a building that is burning down. I think that mulling over the event again and again and thinking of how you could have done something differently is one of the hardest things to go through, and I can’t imagine how someone that lost a child in a fire must feel. Looking back, or just plainly from outside of the moment, you say “I could have spent another five minutes. The fire department arrived, they would have saved me if it was REALLY bad.”
However, what you think might have happened is just a fantasy. You need to stop, think, and remember that we live in the best of all possible worlds. If you made any other decision, it would have been worse.
Our new cat, Cole is still kind of adjusting to life outside of the shelter. I managed to hold him for about 10 minutes last night, which is a huge step forward. While I want him to sleep next to me like Dante did, I can’t push him too far too fast. Further, I have to remember that he’s a different cat with different ways of expressing himself.
What I had is gone, and never coming back.
What I have needs to be appreciated.