Complaining Rant. Feel Free to Look Away

I feel like complaining.

I’m not sure why I’m in this rotten mood, but I am. I feel very stagnant; I’ve finished my novelette and have started the process of editing, and editing is never something that I enjoy. There is the constant indecision, wondering if I did the right thing on the first go-around or if I should bulk things up/slim things down. I’ve solicited several opinions, which have all, thus far, been positive. That said, I really want to finish this writing project before moving on to a new one, and I’m finding the process, mixed with how I feel right now, is turning me into one grumpy cat.

My day job has been ridiculously busy, which is usually good, but since I’m running around like a maniac all night, I tend to want to just veg when I get home. I had started meditating again, and that helped offset my exhaustion, but I got lax and stopped. I need to pick it up and stop watching movies when I can be finding peace of mind.

I watched Silent Hill: Revelation this morning and it was terrible. I hadn’t expected them to make a sequel to the first Silent Hill movie, but they did and it was fecund from start to finish. They went far too corny with the special effects, and the many 3-D moments just come off as cheap-looking.

There are a dozen other things rattling around in my brain that are far too negative for a person that should be happy – nothing terrible is happening (knock on wood) and I should be glad. Instead, I’m letting myself talk myself down and focusing on all the wrong things.

I suppose it is best summed-up as BLAHHHHH!!

Well, today is a good as day as any to get back on the right track, yeah?

Posted in Personal | 4 Comments

Merdock and Noah S. Feratu

I’m starting work on another role-playing adventure, this time for Little Fears Nightmare Edition. I’m envisioning it as something between Monster Squad and The Gate, having both serious and lighthearted moments. Of course, I won’t go too far into detail, but I will say that the game will involve the classic monsters of American cinema.

I’ve taken some time to sketch out my vision of these monsters; I’ll probably include them amongst others in a coloring book idea that I’ve been kicking around.

First is Merdock. He is your typical Creature from the Black Lagoon, but I wanted to make him more physically impressive. I started with face designs:

My initial inspiration was from Savage Dragon, but I really wanted Merdock to have an over-sized chin, or some kind of pelican-like sack. The first iteration of him (top) came out really REALLY phallic-looking. The more I looked at him, the more he looked like a penis. The second (middle) looked physically weaker and somewhat meek, while the third (bottom) was really a nod in the direction of something more bestial.

Looking at those faces, I came up with this body:

I widened his face to give him a more aggressive and strong head, and gave him an exaggerated swimmer’s body with overly broad shoulders and a lean physique. Overall, I’m pleased with myself.

Next was Noah S. Feratu, the vampire of the group:

I toyed briefly with making him look a little like Barnabas Collins, but I really prefer my vampires to look like Nosferatu, so bald and batty was my decision. I also decided that he should dress like classic Dracula, and still have the cape and medallion in his bat form.

I’m not 100% happy with this design, but it is closer to what I want. I need to look at Bela as Dracula a bit before my next attempt and make sure that I get the clothes down a bit more…

I’m very excited to draw more of these classic monsters, and look forward to tossing them into suburbia to wreak havoc.

Posted in Art, Drawings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

GM’s Day 2013

As long time and astute followers on my blog know, I enjoy role-playing games. While I love character driven games like Fiasco and Vampire: The Requiem, I also enjoy the occasional wade in and slaughter all the enemies games such as Dungeons and Dragons. My love of all these games stems from my love of fantasy and playing pretend. These games offer a brief respite from the world, and often inspire me as a writer.

When a game requires a referee or planning, there is a person who runs the game. That person is called the Game Master, Dungeon Master, Storyteller, Keeper, or any of a dozen other monikers. I tend to prefer Game Master, as it encompasses all games equally. Usually, when I’m playing a role-playing game, the role of Game Master belongs to me.

I will be the first to admit that it is my preferred role. I tend to have issues with control and can be hyper-critical at times. As such, when I play in a game, I often obsess about how I would do it differently. Often, this obsession leads to me enjoying a game less than I might if I were willing to let go.

Over the last few years, I have played under several good GMs. Each has their own style, and all of them allowed me to have fun at their games. While schedules have made it difficult to play, I still cherish the memories that I have, and those we occasionally make.

GM’s Day is an occasion that has arisen from message boards and forums from players that wish for an opportunity to formally recognize and celebrate their Game Masters. As such, I’ve made this drawing of the three characters I have played in the three games run by some of the best GMs I know.

From left to right, there is Ferdinand, Kenta, and Talmud. Playing these guys has given me much enjoyment – enjoyment I wouldn’t have had if it weren’t for the Game Masters in my life. I can only hope that the folks that play in the games I run are half as inspired and entertained as I am.

Posted in Weird Fiction | Leave a comment

Hanging Out with The Master

I will make no attempts at disguising the fact that one of my all time favorite movies is a terrible, Z-grade film called Manos: The Hands of Fate. I was first exposed to Manos via the program known as Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (aka MST3K). I loved MST3K as a youth, and my love for it has grown with me – there are still many episodes I have not seen, and most get better with frequent watching. Enter Manos, which can be seen on Youtube here, at least until someone takes it down.

The plot of Manos is simple – a married couple is on vacation with their daughter and dog. The family end up in a strange pocket dimension (my conjecture, since there is “No way out of here”) that is home to The Master, a not dead-but-sleeping priest of the god of primal darkness, Manos. Also in habitation is The Master’s servant, Torgo, who is a bit of a satyr and envious of The Master’s many wives. From there, the movie goes screaming downhill as the family gets embroiled with the strange cult, finding out about the terrible mysteries of Manos and his followers.

This sounds like a good movie, or at least a compelling one, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not good. However, I find it compelling and inspirational, and as you can tell from my description, I see something there that most other folks don’t notice behind the light leaks, stiff acting, terrible dubbing, choppy editing, and stilted, repetitive dialogue – there is a story that the director-writer-actor Hal Warren just couldn’t get out of his head and onto a screen.

Anyhow, while I would love to wax endlessly about Manos, I think I have provided a sufficient amount of back story to explain this piece of art I made. It is The Master and Torgo, hanging out after a long day of worshiping Manos.

And here is the same piece, colored in with Prismacolor markers on the marker paper I just bought today -

Clearly I need more practice on the marker paper. Additionally, I think I need to work larger and in a more painterly fashion. One thing I truly dislike about this is that the marker strokes on the scan versus the marker strokes on the original look quite different. I had the same issue with the picture of Hellboy I colored during last year’s 30 Day Drawing Challenge.

That said, I shall soldier on in my attempts to master this medium.

Posted in Art, Drawings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Many Soups Boiling

Lately, I have been very busy in the creativity department, though you wouldn’t know it from my blog. I have a new Fiasco playset that I’m developing which is based on the world of Twin Peaks. In addition to that, I’m back to actively working on Like Rabbits, which should be complete sooner rather than later.

I’ve been considering rebooting August and Minerva, and I swear it has nothing to do with both DC and Marvel’s latest reboots. It has more to do with the vision that I have developed lately versus the vision I originally had. I think that I added too much too quickly, and it grew out of control. While I love Mr. Kane and Persephone, I don’t know that they deserved a story arch of their own, and I really should have left the supernatural detention center in Alaska off the map.

Long and short, I got in too deep with In Too Deep.

That said, I look forward to potentially revisiting the revised work.

I have a couple of other story ideas kicking around, as well as an RPG adventure that is just begging to be written.

On a personal level, I’ve been trying to get my life into a better place. I’ve started meditating again (a practice that I have allowed to lapse since the fire a couple of years ago), and I’m already reaping the benefits of better focus. My next goal is to integrate a regimen of physical activity into my life. While my day job requires a lot of walking, nothing really compares to proper exercise when it comes to getting less doughy.

I want to do yoga and walking, but I have time issues that I find difficult to overcome – I never feel like I have time to do either activity, even though it really is easy enough to designate a half an hour somewhere in my schedule  to giving myself the opportunity to feel better about my physical appearance.

I have been feeling isolated lately.

This happens when I get into a creative mode. I draw away from people, and sometimes push people away. I think this has a bit to do with my status as an introvert.

However, lately I’ve been feeling more distanced from people than normal. I’m still close with my core folks, but the acquaintances and even some close friends that I have seem to be further away from me (emotionally) than they have been in the past. All part of growing up, I suppose.

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Boardgame Review: Elder Sign

I was happy to receive a copy of Fantasy Flight’s game, Elder Sign as a Christmas gift from one of my longtime friends. The game is often touted as a fast and easy-to-learn version of Arkham Horror, and I think that it lives up to this claim.As a cooperative game, and one that can be played solitaire, it is right up my alley.

Upon opening the box, you are greeted with a colorful and thick rulebook that does a fair job of explaining game play. One of the folks at Boardgamegeek.com created a seven page version of the book which does the same work in fewer pages. Aside from the book, you will find several cards that can be sorted and shuffled, as well as a couple cardboard sheets with various cardboard chits to poke out and a set of dice.

The dice are central to the game’s mechanics; you spend the game hopping from adventure to adventure, and each adventure has a set of tasks. You roll the dice, and must get certain results in order to complete the tasks. You may, upon completing adventures, gain items which allow you to roll more dice or save specific die results. Each time you have an adventure, the game’s clock ticks ahead three hours. Each time it hits midnight, an event occurs which often makes life harder for your investigator.

The investigators are the usual suspects for a Fantasy flight game set in the Arkham Horror world – Joe Diamond, “Ash Can” Pete, Sister Mary, and all the rest return with different game changing abilities. While some abilities come close to breaking the game, others are quite reasonable.

All set-up for play

The object of the game is to collect Elder Signs – sigils that will keep one of the Great Old Ones from awakening and destroying the world. Each Great Old One has a special way they affect the game, such as forcing you to take damage whenever you use an item or awakening if all of the cards that lead you into other worlds are depleted. Basically, if the Great Old One awakens, the game is most likely over. Combat against these cosmic atrocities is supposed to be extremely deadly, so it is best avoided.

The game’s cardboard clock is visually striking

As the game ticks on, you will collect Elder Signs, fight monsters, and tokens will be added to the Great Old One’s Doom Track – it is basically a race to see if you will collect enough Elder Signs before the Great Old One’s Doom Track is filled and the cosmic nasty awakens.

The game works against you by imposing penalties. Failing adventures often cost your investigator health and sanity – running out of either causes the investigator to be, as the game puts it, devoured, and the addition of a token to the Doom Track is the result of your investigator becoming a snack. The game ups the ante by locking your dice – certain adventures, monsters, and events will limit the number of dice you can use. You cannot get the dice back, except for upon the completion of the occurrence that locked it.

This adventure locked one green die, which meant that I had only 5 to roll until the adventure was completed.

All said, the rules are quite simple, and so is the game play. There are a few strategies that you might employ while playing, but the most important one is to race, race, race for the Elder Signs and keep as many dice unlocked as possible. The game will win if you allow it to keep spawning monsters and locking dice – you need to resolve adventures quickly, and keep an eye on your health as you go.

That said, I have played two games and haven’t lost either. I’ve managed to keep the Old Ones asleep with ease, losing only one investigator per game (you draw a new one if yours is devoured). I’m considering using some of the house-rules I have seen on the internet in order to ramp up the game’s difficulty a little bit. While it is fun to beat the cultists that are trying to awaken slumbering titans, I’d like a bit more pressure.

I certainly would recommend the game to folks that don’t want to spend all afternoon playing Arkham Horror – there is much joy to be found in what boils down to a Cthulhu themed version of Yahtzee.

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Me and You and Your Pain

Living in a quiet worldWith secret dreams, dreamed in vain
Loving beneath the same roof
Just Me and You and Your Pain.

Possibilities narrow
As each day becomes the past.
I slow my pace to a crawl
How much longer will it last?

The illusion is shattered;
It is all loss and no gain.
As I gather the pieces
Of Me and You and Your Pain.

The future is written out,
In ink that will disappear;
I watch as it slowly fades
And start to understand fear.

Our children will never run
Down a winding, shady lane.
Instead our home will be filled
With Me and You and Our Pain.

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